At Bordeaux-Mérignac Airport, customs duties also apply to your suitcases!

Counterfeit clothing, cigarettes, bush meat or pieces of coral: at Bordeaux airport it's the height of the season for travelers who are, to say the least, absent-minded or who think they might take customs officers for idiots.

If it took Herculean strength to pack your suitcase before you set off for another world, know that when you return, these people will be able to open it in no time. "We're just careful not to plunge our hands directly into it because you never know what you'll find," warns Gérard, 43, head of the customs brigade assigned to guard Bordeaux-Mérignac airport. Around thirty agents take turns here at "baggage claim," a veritable funnel through which nearly a million and a half passengers pass during the summer. And a few of them throw themselves into the lion's den and Opco. "A Labrador trained to become a cash dog, that is, capable of sniffing out money." His sense of smell is spectacular, except that he can't count, so it's up to us to check whether there's one note or thousands," his owner jokes.

That morning, after stepping off a flight from Istanbul, a far more enticing smell caught his attention. "Madam, I've asked you several times if you were carrying meat," an officer scolded, grabbing a curious plastic bag hidden among some clothes. Some two kilos of oxtail smuggled in from Gabon. Simplified procedure, no fine, just a seizure. "Given the quantity, this person is not a highway robber, unlike others who are keeping the pot boiling at certain restaurants in Bordeaux."

At the airport borders of France, the bushmeat trade is thus confined to wholesale trade. Pieces – recently – chosen on the tarmac at Mérignac: four and a half kilos of Nile monitor lizard, and even 11 dried pangolins at the beginning of February . "Almost every flight escapes it," confirms Hervé Geffroy, deputy director of customs for Nouvelle-Aquitaine, while pointing out that the hunt carried out by his agents has no other principle than that of health precaution. "Sometimes, you have to have a strong stomach when you discover meat stuffed with maggots, like those 12 kilos of smoked chicken a few days ago," adds Gérard.

"And the ban also applies to most fruits and vegetables," insists his boss. "Because we know very well that the tiger mosquito, for example, didn't arrive here with its little wings." The only plants exempt from all controls are bananas, coconuts, dates, and pineapples.

A weapon of mass repression and education, this is how Hervé Geffroy sees his job in the summer. " Our goal is also for the French to travel peacefully , to avoid the extreme heat at customs, because while they prepare their vacations very well, this is not the case for their return," he warns, pointing out a lack of knowledge of the rules, sometimes tinged with nonchalance. And he goes on to remind them of customs etiquette in detail in front of some corals that are immediately confiscated. "Outside the European Union, it's a carton of cigarettes, a liter of spirits, and four liters of wine. Otherwise, the fine will cost you twice the price of the product in France. As for money, unless you declare it in advance, don't expect to have more than 10,000 euros in your pocket for both the outward and return journeys." (1)

"We saw Mbappé's jersey at Real Madrid emerge even before he signed for the club."

Where we will finally remember that France did not wait for Trump to impose customs duties on its own citizens. "The expression 'do you have something to declare' is not just for show. It's not well known, but outside the EU, every item worth more than €430 is taxed."

On this day at the end of July, the man who thought he was taking customs officers for idiots was caught. And for peanuts. "We can be a little lenient with cigarettes if it's for personal consumption. But not with this gentleman and his shopping list, which said 'so many cartons for Jean-Pierre, so many for Thérèse,' etc."

Don't expect to get a cheap deal in the counterfeit section, either, with its fake crocodile polo shirts and football shirts galore. "We saw Mbappé's Real Madrid shirt popping up even before he signed for the club. If you have a copy on your back, you'll be asked to remove it."

For the rest, with an average of just under twenty passengers checked on each flight, the random method – sometimes even by guesswork – often proves more effective than profiling rogues on a short week's vacation. "At the airport, as elsewhere, the customs officer's worst enemy is routine. On the road, a campervan peacefully returning from Spain is now as suspect as a large sedan speeding along."

(1) www.douane.gouv.fr/fiche/franchises-douanieres-et-fiscales-en-quantites-et-en-valeurs